How to Order Ice Cream in Public
You're out with the kids having the best day ever. It's warm but not too hot. You've just come from a great time at the splash pad. Nobody fell and scraped a knee. Pure merriment from start to finish. You, as the great parent you are, know there is only one way to cap off this Brady Bunch-esque outing. Ice motherfucking cream!! There's nothing better than an ice cream cone to a kid. It's theirs and theirs alone. A sphere of creamy sugar placed on top of an easy to hold, edible handle. And any decent ice cream stand these days is going to have 10 flavours to choose from. Do you want Moon Mist or Purple, Caramel Rainbow? This is the child's equivalent to receiving oral sex while sitting in a vibrating, massage chair. So you're wondering how I could fuck this up? How could the most joyous act of childhood turn to a shitstorm in a matter of 20 to 30 licks? I'll fucking tell you all right. This problem is a relatively new one. It did not ex