Covid-19 is Fucked but We Aren't
Why might you want to read this?
Well I think I have a bit of a unique perspective on this whole COVID-19 thing as we have had 2 years of trying to keep germs out of our house as my youngest child has had health issues. Health issues which I had to come to grips with as altering the rest of his life and mine.
So, I've had to isolate (to a much lesser degree than now) for large parts of the past 2 years and have had to work through my own mental health issues as I struggled to face a new reality in my life.
I'm a husband and father to two other kids. All the kids in the house are under 7 years of age. Both my wife and I are lucky enough to still have an income and we are working through working while trying to provide a semi-enriching day for our kids.
As part of my job I provide parenting education. I also work with youth. I've been in the social service field for 23 years. Not sure what that might mean to you but this is an important piece of who I am and understanding my perspective.
Like everyone I am having to work through what's happening in the world right now. On a very macro level I am worried about my son who is currently immune compromised. I am paranoid about bringing the virus into the house and fortunately we are able to stay home except for getting essentials. I sometimes feel like we are in the worst situation because of my young son's health but spending any amount of time reading what other people throughout the world are experiencing shows me so many are experiencing their own, very real, pain. And ultimately, we all have to do the same thing...deal with our own mental health while trying to cope with all the new challenges in front of us.
<Joan Baez just popped on my screen singing a song for John Prine...get well, John.>
When my son was first diagnosed with the condition that would alter all of our lives it sent me down a road of anxiety and depression. I was worried about today and I was also worrying about things that may or may not happen 20 years from now. It was when I got lost in these big picture thoughts that I was at my worst in terms of depression. The odd time I'd just start intensely and uncontrollably bawling.
I was just about to launch into something about having to live in the moment...that when I learned to do that things got better. But thinking about it now I don't even know if that's true because I still struggle, just not as badly. There are times I talk to my kids in ways I never thought I would and instantly regret. Sometimes I regret it while I'm doing it. I'm not talking about anything that would get me referred to children's services but I'll just say I have behaved in ways that are below what my own expectations of good parenting are.
Here's one thing I do know, despite feeling like this is something you just can't deal with, you can deal with it. It just might take a long time until you feel like you're doing ok. And that's almost impossible to visualize.
Saying you need to live in the moment when the moment is total shit is akin to telling someone to eat shit and like it. All I will say right now is try to squeeze in something you like doing no matter how dire your circumstance. Watch a show you love and can escape into (I am currently a staff member at Dunder Miflin). If you have a musical instrument play it. If you normally exercise find some way to get your heart pumping even if it's in your apartment. Do something normal that makes you feel good!
One other thing I'll sneak in is a meditation app I like. Don't let the idea of meditation scare you. If you can sit or lie still while listening to something you are good to go and it can do wonders. The app is Insight Timer and is on Android and IOS. You can pick a mediation to help you go to sleep, to reduce anxiety, practice gratitude, etc. It's free.
I'm done writing. I'm mostly writing this for me as an outlet. If you have any questions for me please ask away. I'll write again soon.
Well I think I have a bit of a unique perspective on this whole COVID-19 thing as we have had 2 years of trying to keep germs out of our house as my youngest child has had health issues. Health issues which I had to come to grips with as altering the rest of his life and mine.
So, I've had to isolate (to a much lesser degree than now) for large parts of the past 2 years and have had to work through my own mental health issues as I struggled to face a new reality in my life.
I'm a husband and father to two other kids. All the kids in the house are under 7 years of age. Both my wife and I are lucky enough to still have an income and we are working through working while trying to provide a semi-enriching day for our kids.
As part of my job I provide parenting education. I also work with youth. I've been in the social service field for 23 years. Not sure what that might mean to you but this is an important piece of who I am and understanding my perspective.
Like everyone I am having to work through what's happening in the world right now. On a very macro level I am worried about my son who is currently immune compromised. I am paranoid about bringing the virus into the house and fortunately we are able to stay home except for getting essentials. I sometimes feel like we are in the worst situation because of my young son's health but spending any amount of time reading what other people throughout the world are experiencing shows me so many are experiencing their own, very real, pain. And ultimately, we all have to do the same thing...deal with our own mental health while trying to cope with all the new challenges in front of us.
<Joan Baez just popped on my screen singing a song for John Prine...get well, John.>
When my son was first diagnosed with the condition that would alter all of our lives it sent me down a road of anxiety and depression. I was worried about today and I was also worrying about things that may or may not happen 20 years from now. It was when I got lost in these big picture thoughts that I was at my worst in terms of depression. The odd time I'd just start intensely and uncontrollably bawling.
I was just about to launch into something about having to live in the moment...that when I learned to do that things got better. But thinking about it now I don't even know if that's true because I still struggle, just not as badly. There are times I talk to my kids in ways I never thought I would and instantly regret. Sometimes I regret it while I'm doing it. I'm not talking about anything that would get me referred to children's services but I'll just say I have behaved in ways that are below what my own expectations of good parenting are.
Here's one thing I do know, despite feeling like this is something you just can't deal with, you can deal with it. It just might take a long time until you feel like you're doing ok. And that's almost impossible to visualize.
Saying you need to live in the moment when the moment is total shit is akin to telling someone to eat shit and like it. All I will say right now is try to squeeze in something you like doing no matter how dire your circumstance. Watch a show you love and can escape into (I am currently a staff member at Dunder Miflin). If you have a musical instrument play it. If you normally exercise find some way to get your heart pumping even if it's in your apartment. Do something normal that makes you feel good!
One other thing I'll sneak in is a meditation app I like. Don't let the idea of meditation scare you. If you can sit or lie still while listening to something you are good to go and it can do wonders. The app is Insight Timer and is on Android and IOS. You can pick a mediation to help you go to sleep, to reduce anxiety, practice gratitude, etc. It's free.
I'm done writing. I'm mostly writing this for me as an outlet. If you have any questions for me please ask away. I'll write again soon.
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